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“Because they don’t know what to say, they get tripped up.”But when you do know what to say? That’s why we've gathered a few basic guidelines to help you tap into your inner dirty girl.


“Women feel silly talking dirty,” says Jaiya, a sex educator and author of .Don't: Feel Pressure“Dirty talk” is perhaps a misnomer, because bedroom banter doesn’t have to be crude to be a turn-on.“Some people find cursing to be completely un-arousing,” says Neustifter.“The words that turn him on might be tender and loving—that can be just as highly arousing,” Jaiya adds.If you’re not sure which he prefers, try alternating sweet phrases (e.g.Other sexy words that can stand alone: "faster," "harder," and "more." One-word directives let him know he’s doing a great job, says Jaiya. Don't: Focus Too Much on His Size Some guys love being told their manhood is massive, but for others—even if they are average or larger—hearing about size may remind them of their own insecurities, says Neustifter.

A better route: Talk about how firm his erection is.

That way, you know he’ll receive your proposition positively, which can make you feel more confident taking charge.

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“Generally, people respond well to hearing how aroused their genitals area,” she says.

Do: Outline His Qualities That Excite You Talking about specific sexual acts can be uber-intimidating.

Even if your guy spouts off dirty words with ease (and even if you feel totally awkward), you may have a leg up.