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Of course your husband should not blame you and he must take responsibility for how he has hurt you with his online behaviour, but the two of you must take responsibility for improving the marriage.

Although personal experience has shown me these online chat rooms are safe and supportive spaces, no responsibility can be taken for third party sites PLEASE NOTE: These are independent sites that have no connection with Please be careful and do not use your full name or share any identifying information. A Silver Lining is a bipolar only online chat room with good, clear guidelines and a solid track record of support for the bipolar community.An online chat room can be a great outlet and a great source of bipolar support (although adult chat is unwise during manic phases).Unfortunately however, many of the online chat rooms that promote themselves to bipolar people have other agendas – for example lots of advertising and selling, or adult chat that fuels bipolar symptoms, leading to bipolar mania or even infidelity.A second issue for a marriage is that one partner turns to the internet for flirting and sexual excitement rather than to their partner.When this happens frequently, it can lead to a reduction in their sex-life together, a growing sense of disconnection and an erosion of the marital bond.To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.

At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.

Take some time out together You can also take action at home to improve your marriage on a daily basis.

For example you can prioritise a daily talking time with your husband when you share how each of you are doing.

When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line.

I still feel really unhappy about what he has done.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.