Advice for christians dating non christians
“My daughter was interested in this nice Christian boy, but he strung her along for a year and a half.
The great thing about changing expectations is that it lowers the pressure on grabbing dinner together and figuring out if the two of you even like talking to one another!A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up.“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.He didn’t get necessarily smarter–he got more experienced. Sometimes we all need a little practice with figuring out what we really want–not in terms of our “ideal spouse” but a real flesh-and-blood human.
“Do you think Christian girls make dating too serious? “I need a buffer of at least five dates before I’m thinking of any future at all! What if you completely jettison the idea of finding your husband or wife via dating, at least for the first five dates?
So, don’t be surprised if some of the responses appear to contradict or cancel each other out.
In fact, you will find this is true in many counselling situations and could happen with any of our scenarios.
By the way, I’m not suggesting that she presents the following points in a neat, structured, logical case.
Rather, at various points, these thoughts and arguments are expressed.
One person she asked know of someone who led their boyfriend to Christ. – You are being a kill joy with your rules and regulations, she just wants to enjoy herself, experience intimacy, have fun.